29 September 2014

24 September 2014

Deeply un-PC, I know, but when have I let that bother me?

Blessed Virgin, ora pro nobis.

18 September 2014

Masses at Our Lady of Consolation, West Grinstead

There will be an additional Mass at 8.30 am, celebrated by Fr Matthew Goddard, on Sunday, 28 September.

Please will you also note that Fr David Irwin, from St James, Spanish Place will be saying the regular monthly Mass at Our Lady of Consolation in October.

If you are in, or new to, the area or have never experienced the beauty of the traditional Mass, please come along! Here's a LINK to the Shrine website.

16 September 2014

'Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain)'

Or : 'How To Dismantle A Dual Rite Parish In (Possibly Under) A Week'.

Here are some handy tips for getting it done, all tried and tested under rigorous and varied parish conditions :

Reduce reverence. For example, at Benediction, cut down on candles (for we see very well), sing in English, it makes a heftier point.

Get rid of the schola by not having that sort of music any more.

Sell The Tablet.

Suddenly stop after the Domine non sum dignus, and announce that communion in the hand is OK, canon law says so, while holding the Body of Our Lord.

Harangue, or just shout at, your parishioners, but only at the EF Masses, because that'll be another way you can get those pesky traddies to leave. It's all right to admit to a parishioner that there were meetings with the Archbishop and Bishop to discuss the way forward for the parish, because the EF folks are so toxic and divisive.

Don't worry, you can deny anything later, because it's your word against a Trad, and we all know who will be believed, right?

Result? You can shrink a Sunday EF congregation averaging about 120 down to about 50 in a week (or your money back).
That's pretty impressive if you ask me, in a week. And  it's useful not just for EF lovers, not at all, no, let's not be divisive because anyone orthodox can be eliminated using these handy tried and tested hints :


Using a pudding basin to burn incense
Getting out the pottery vessels
Making up your own liturgy
Telling jokes
Putting a set of golf clubs on the altar
Never mentioning sin
Not using the proper words of absolution after the counselling session formerly known as Confession
Putting all the decent vestments in the attic (yes, there are still some around that aren't polyester-viscose blend)
Insist that no Latin will intrude on the NO Masses (but a quick kyrie is all right if it's done to the right sort of tune)
More extraordinary ministers in the Sanctuary than there are people in the congregation (seen it with my own eyes)

There are many other examples, and I am sure you can come up with some of your own. If you do, please share your ideas with us, don't be shy.

Remember, there is to be no celebration of liturgical diversity.

What are they so afraid of?

05 September 2014

'Collaborative Ministry'

ACTA are back, at Bishop Kieran's request, to discuss even more 'collaborative ministry'. They will be at Our Lady of Ransom, Eastbourne, on Sat, 4th October, from 1.30 pm until 5.00 pm (I hope they'll be offering cake. Or gin). If you have the inner strength, please go along. If you can't make this, be assured there will be further opportunities, Diocese wide. 

On a personal note, I haven't been blogging recently as I try to blog under the banner of 'if you can't say something positive, say nothing at all'. Which may surprise some of you because you know how I do like a good rant from time to time. However, we blog on, regardless.