16 September 2014

'Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain)'

Or : 'How To Dismantle A Dual Rite Parish In (Possibly Under) A Week'.

Here are some handy tips for getting it done, all tried and tested under rigorous and varied parish conditions :

Reduce reverence. For example, at Benediction, cut down on candles (for we see very well), sing in English, it makes a heftier point.

Get rid of the schola by not having that sort of music any more.

Sell The Tablet.

Suddenly stop after the Domine non sum dignus, and announce that communion in the hand is OK, canon law says so, while holding the Body of Our Lord.

Harangue, or just shout at, your parishioners, but only at the EF Masses, because that'll be another way you can get those pesky traddies to leave. It's all right to admit to a parishioner that there were meetings with the Archbishop and Bishop to discuss the way forward for the parish, because the EF folks are so toxic and divisive.

Don't worry, you can deny anything later, because it's your word against a Trad, and we all know who will be believed, right?

Result? You can shrink a Sunday EF congregation averaging about 120 down to about 50 in a week (or your money back).
That's pretty impressive if you ask me, in a week. And  it's useful not just for EF lovers, not at all, no, let's not be divisive because anyone orthodox can be eliminated using these handy tried and tested hints :


Using a pudding basin to burn incense
Getting out the pottery vessels
Making up your own liturgy
Telling jokes
Putting a set of golf clubs on the altar
Never mentioning sin
Not using the proper words of absolution after the counselling session formerly known as Confession
Putting all the decent vestments in the attic (yes, there are still some around that aren't polyester-viscose blend)
Insist that no Latin will intrude on the NO Masses (but a quick kyrie is all right if it's done to the right sort of tune)
More extraordinary ministers in the Sanctuary than there are people in the congregation (seen it with my own eyes)

There are many other examples, and I am sure you can come up with some of your own. If you do, please share your ideas with us, don't be shy.

Remember, there is to be no celebration of liturgical diversity.

What are they so afraid of?

05 September 2014

'Collaborative Ministry'

ACTA are back, at Bishop Kieran's request, to discuss even more 'collaborative ministry'. They will be at Our Lady of Ransom, Eastbourne, on Sat, 4th October, from 1.30 pm until 5.00 pm (I hope they'll be offering cake. Or gin). If you have the inner strength, please go along. If you can't make this, be assured there will be further opportunities, Diocese wide. 

On a personal note, I haven't been blogging recently as I try to blog under the banner of 'if you can't say something positive, say nothing at all'. Which may surprise some of you because you know how I do like a good rant from time to time. However, we blog on, regardless. 

18 July 2014

Mass at St Mary Magdalen, Brighton

There will be a High Mass on the Feast of St Mary Magdalen, Tuesday, 22 July 
at 6.30 pm at St Mary Magdalen, Brighton.

01 July 2014

Masses in Lewes


Normal Mass schedule resumes in August.

There will be a missa cantata for the Feast of the Assumption at 7.00 pm on Friday, 15th August

27 June 2014

Happy Feast of the Sacred Heart

A reminder that there will be a Low Mass in Lewes at 12.30 pm on Sunday for the Feast of St Peter and St Paul

20 June 2014

Michael Coviello RIP

Please pray for the repose of the soul of Michael Coviello, a regular worshipper at Our Lady of Consolation who died this week. Prayers too for his wife, Sue, and their family. May he rest in peace.

Fr Matthew Goddard FSSP will be celebrant at the Requiem, which will be on Tuesday, 1st July at Noon, at Our Lady of Consolation, West Grinstead.

16 June 2014

From Damian Barker, YCA Co-ordinator

Events at Douai Abbey
19th-21st Sept 2014 Organised by Young Catholic Adults

Weekend for 18-35 Year Olds

If you are in the 18-35 age range, there will be a weekend retreat at Douai Abbey featuring John Pridmore , Fr. Gregory Pearson and Fr. Matthew Goddard. All Masses will be EF.

How to Book for the Weekend

Prices range from £18 upwards for more details, please see:-http://www.youngcatholicadults.co.uk/events.htm, or or ring 07908105787 or 07515 805015.
Please note that the Abbey have requested that you book in by the 29th August 2014
Events Open to the Public
Saturday 20th September 2014 at 11am –  Sung/High EF Mass in the Parish Church at Douai Abbey  followed by a Marian Procession around the extensive grounds at 12pm.

All ages/Parishes/Church groups are warmly welcome to attend Masses and the procession. All events are organised by Young Catholic Adults (YCA).

02 June 2014

There will be...

...NO MASS AT SEAFORD THIS MONTH due to First Holy Communions.
Normal time resumes in July.

28 May 2014

Rorate Caeli...

...are asking for rosaries for the Franciscan Friars and Sisters of the Immaculate.

You know you must be doing the right thing when the establishment comes after you.

26 May 2014

Up coming Masses

Coming to parishes hopefully somewhere near you:

In Brighton :

St Mary Magdalen, Upper North Street, Brighton, BN1 3FH

High Mass at 7.30 pm on Ascension Day


Sung Mass at 7.00 pm on Corpus Christi

In Lewes :

St Pancras, Irelands Lane, Lewes BN7 1QX

Low Mass 7.00 pm on Ascension Day

Low Mass 7.00 pm on Corpus Christi

Low Mass 12.30 pm 29th June

In Knaphill :

St Hugh of Lincoln,  95 Victoria Rd, Knaphill, Woking, Surrey, GU21 2AA

Low Mass, Thursday 12th June,  7.30 pm.

18 May 2014

What a day.

The view from next to my favourite pillar

Yesterday, for any who might not know, was the pilgrimage to West Grinstead. The sun shone, the breeze blew, and the singing was mighty loud. 

Best of all, we were left in no doubt at all that everyone who was there believed Our Lord to be truly present, with us, at Mass and Benediction.

For those of us who have to endure (how to say this charitably?) less than reverent Masses on a regular basis, it is always such a relief to find yourself with like-minded people.

'What?' I hear muttered, 'How rude, what's she on about?' Well let me explain.

It's a relief not to have to change queue to receive the Blessed Sacrament because of the extraordinary ministers. It's a relief not to have the back of your heels trodden on by the person behind because you have chosen to receive not in the hand and your body position takes up more space in the line. It's a relief not to have to walk past the Chalices proffered by more extraordinary ministers after, again, having the backs of your heels trodden on as you genuflect, it's a relief not to see these same lay people purifying the vessels.

It's a relief to see people genuflect, to be silent before and after Mass. It's a relief to see people who truly behave as they believe. Now I'm not saying that those lay ministers don't believe. I'm saying the Ordinary Form Mass is too relaxed, too banal, too over-familiar. And what is it that familiarity breeds?

I've got a copy, it's very good.

The sermon, and the later talk, by Bishop Schneider were also a breath of fresh air. In a nut shell? You know what the Church teaches, whatever is happening around you, whatever rumours of change you hear, whatever innovations are mooted, keep the Faith, the Faith of our Fathers.

Which as it happens is very appropriate at West Grinstead, having as it does a Secret Chapel and priest holes.

It is also great to be able to chat with people at the picnic, share some horror stories and boldly look to the future. In my more miserable moments, I seriously wonder what the point of slogging away trying to get someone, anyone interested in the Extraordinary Form, usus antiquior, Tridentine Mass, Old Rite, whatever tag you wish to give the Mass, is. There is such an ideological divide that it seems impossible that the beauty and richness of it will ever be known more widely.

Then there are days like yesterday, when you realise you aren't a complete weirdo entirely on your own, there are people out there who feel the same way, and who are prepared to get down on their knees, mantilla up, and show it.

Thanks to everyone, especially from our Diocese, who came.

13 May 2014

Guess what's happening this Saturday...

...Yes, it's The Pilgrimage! Our Lady of Consolation, West Grinstead, Noon.

There will be this:

Followed by this:

Then This :

Then this :

Interspersed with the opportunity for these :

Hope to see you there.